milo had his EUA yesterday and the good news is his doctor found the reasons behind his pain. the pressure on his right eye is way higher and he thinks its because his implant valve is clogged. he is giving us two new eyedrops to use to see if that helps. if not, then other measures will have to happen like readjusting his existing valve or replacing the exiting one. as for his left eye, his doctor took out his prosthesis to check and found that he has a pretty bad cornea infection. the prosthesis is out of his eye and we have an antibiotic eye drop to give him every two hours. a culture was taken as well to define this infection and hopefully its nothing too bad. we were a bit relieved that they can explain his reasons of pain but the same time we feel horrible because he has been in pain all this time not because of him adjusting to his prosthesis but also because there was an infection AND his right eye pressure is way high. it makes this even more tricky in the future when he has to get his prosthesis back in. what happens when he complains of pain? is it the prosthesis or is he getting another infection? and is the prosthesis causing the infection? is he more prone to infection? can we do anything to prevent/decrease his chance of getting an infection? wheres is this 24hours hotline to call when you child gets prosthesis? it sucks because you cant really tell whats going on and its not like we can tell the infection to hold off on attacking his eye until he is well adjusted to his prosthesis. if i have the power of the aforementioned, i think i would be doing greater things and i would have a blog called I HAVE GREAT AMAZING POWER AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT & NO I AM NOT A MAGICIAN OR A GYPSY. well, thats kind of a long name but whatever, you get the point.

back to reality – i am SO glad that i requested this EUA because otherwise we would not have known that his pressure in his right eye is so high. the good thing is that the high pressure has not caused any nerve damage and also the cornea infection has not caused any permanent damage as well.

since his EUA in may, milo pretty much has a bad day once a week where he is in bed all day and no food, and sometimes it will last longer. about 2 weeks ago we found out of a family screening* of Cars 2 and we told him all about it and he was insanely excited for that day to come. the two days prior to the event, his eyes were feeling better and we were thrilled. the morning of the event he woke up not so great but milo was super brave and suck it up and kept telling us that he was okay even though you could see him blinking his eyes and moving his face a lot to adjust the discomfort of his prosthesis shell. he had couple pain related scream but we all made it into the car and we were all very excited to share this first time movie seeing experience with milo. as soon as we parked milo screamed and cried. we sat in the car with him for 40mins trying to talk him through it and explaining to him that if it hurts too much, we can see the movie at a later date when he is better. milo was very set on seeing it and he kept asking us to wait for him. his eyes were closed the whole time in the car aside from the several attempts to open which all ended with him screaming in pain. eventually we had to leave. he was extremely upset and disappointed. my hubby and i were heartbroken because we were excited to see him to be super excited to see the movie.

i HATE that prosthesis shell SO much because it is completely controlling his life and its preventing him from doing things. my hubby and i are making sure that milo knows that it is not his fault that his eyes hurt and that it is okay if they hurt (even though it sucks), AND most importantly, we need to make sure that milo does not blame himself for his eyes. its all sounding very grown up. sometimes i take a step back and remind myself that he is only three years old and he has so much to deal with and that he will have so much more to deal with.
milo is the toughest and bravest superhero i know and probably you know.

lets hope this eye dropping eye drops will take away the nasty cornea infection on the left eye, his right eye pressure will be under control and he wont be light sensitive anymore. we will have another EUA in three weeks. until then…or as milo likes to say now, THE END.

xoxo

p.s. – matilda is doing well and growing up so fast. she started eating solid the day she turned 6 months old. she loves to smile and she loves watching milo. i started signing with her awhile back with everyday routine basic(milk, diaper change, bathtime, more) and now i am trying to do more. hopefully she will start signing soon!

FOOTNOTES:

* family screening – movie theater would host these every now and then (i think they should have these more especially in the summer time and have more than just one showing too) where the lights would be left on and they would lower the volume so the younger kids would feel okay watching the big screen.